Into The Fray
by XxHeartlessKissxX
Summary: A series of Song-fics based on songs by the Fray. Death Note characters only, mainly MelloXMatt.
1. Look after you

**A/N:** Okay...so I said these would be Matt and Mello fics but I think maybe they'll be kinda everyone...however the first one is MXM.

2013: So I finally fixed the name…because I switched songs in the middle of writing this..heh. The ~ signify where lyrics were removed. The original version with lyrics is here - xxizziinsanityxx. / art/Look-After-You-The-sky-was-so-367559426?q=gallery%3Axxizziinsanityxx&qo=0

**Disclaimer:** No, it doesn't belong to me.

**Music:** _Look After You_-**The Fray**

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><p><strong>Look After You<strong>

The sky was so dark and the rain froze in blonde hair as it fell and no one was there to realize that there were tears mingling with the icy water.

The red-head lay in bed,the only sign of his fear and worry, his despair, were the fingers stroking the cross that was not his but hung around his neck...

Matt sighed in annoyance and stood up, opening the door to his apartment at the insistent knocking, his hip tilting to the side to balance the box he'd been going through when the interruption had come.

Green eyes widened behind his orange goggles as he took in the sight before him and the box slid from his fingers to the floor before he half-tackled the beautiful blonde standing in his door-way.

Mello was back and this time Matt wouldn't let him go. Without waiting for words he crushed their lips together.

Mello threw the plate, Matt ducked, the blonde was angry that he missed and so he swung his fist at the gamer, he didn't bother trying to dodge, Matt knew how that went.

He was crouched beside the red head a moment later, apologizing and hugging him, kissing the bruise that was already forming, carrying Matt to their room to "prove" he still loved the gamer, to make up for hitting him again.

Matt was perfectly still, barely responding to the touches as Mello used his body, he made noise and shifted enough so the blonde thought he felt something but there was no heart in it.

The red-head was empty after so many fights he was ready to just give up, the boy who'd left him behind at Whammy's was gone, Mello was icy, a killer and mafia leader, he was no longer Mail's Mihael.

Matt stayed though, through it all he knew just as well as Mello did, the gamer was the only solace for the blonde, the only thing keeping him marginally sane.

Mello's fingers were gentle as they traced the shape of Matt's face, a soft smile on his lips as he leaned forward to kiss the sleeping red-head. Matt's eyes shot open and the knife he'd started sleeping with jerked up.

Mello's eyes were wide as he looked at the blood pouring from his side onto the sheet, Matt was frozen in horror at what he'd done, it was a solid hit and they both knew the blonde was good as dead if he didn't get help.

Matt, in that moment, realized that despite everything Mello had ever done to him, all the pain he caused and all the trouble they got into together, he needed him just as much as the blonde needed him.

Sweeping up the man he loved in his arms and grabbing his phone he didn't bother changing, one hand dialed while he cradled Mello carefully, glad that they lived close to the nearest fire station where the emt's usually came from.

Hours later found them in a bland hospital room, red and gold mingling, Matt having climbed on the bed beside Mello, swearing to never ever forget he loved him again.

Matt had his arms around his love, the controller in his hands and Mello's head on his shoulder as he played, sunlight just touching them and throwing light of of the circles of metal on their hands.

Mello smiled at Matt, the mostly healed burn half-hidden by his shaggy hair and Matt forgot his game to kiss the blonde who dropped his chocolate in favor of tasting Matt.

Yeah life was hard and sometimes they fought, but Matt refused to break his promise and Mello always calmed down before he really hurt him now. Things weren't prefect but they were as close as they would ever be for the duo.

Matt laughed as he lover impatiently tugging him off the couch, leading him to the motorcycle sitting outside their building, both of them straddling the machine with practiced easy.

Arms covered by striped sleeves encircled Mello's waist and Matt kissed his cheek as the bike roared to life, his words only just audible before the wind snatched them away as they sped away from the city, "I love you Mihael."

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><p><strong>AN:**Well it wasn't what I intended it to be...but I think I'm in love with this anyways... yeah...they won't all be like this FYI...this is just kinda..how I felt like writing today. I'm not a happy person today guys...Review to make me less sad? eh..


	2. How To Save A Life

Disclaimer: All rights for Death Note and affiliated characters belong to Ohba, Obata, Shonen Jump Advanced, and Viz Media. All rights for the Fray belong to Joe, Dave, Isaac, Ben, Epic records and Sony. Not Me.

A/N: How was that for a formal, dry disclaimer?

2013 Update: Song lyrics are now removed; ~ is a placeholder for where lyrics should appear. Original version is here art/How-To-Save-A-Life-367560760?q=gallery%3Axxizziinsanityxx&qo=0

**Warnings:** erm…angst, hmm, swearing… excessive chocolate eating? Maybe? Fuck it, you'll figure it out.

**Music:** _How to Save a Life_-**The Fray**

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><p><strong>How To Save A Life<strong>

**~Mihael~**

Looking back I knew as I was leaving that it was wrong, it felt like I was tearing myself in half but even now I couldn't take that one stupid decision back.

Here he was, home late smelling of perfume and alcohol, his eyes glazed from whatever drug he'd taken this time and I sighed, simply helping him into bed, sitting beside him and waiting for the morning to come.

Sunlight had been shinging brightly for hours now and he finally, finally moved, I waited until I was certain he was lucid and I looked at him, "Matt…go shower and then come back here. I have something to say."

A half hour later and he was back, looking exhausted but coherent and living as he sat down, rubbing his brilliant hair with a towel. I forced myself to look at him dead on as I tried to find the right way to say what he needed to hear, his sweet smile not helping in the slightest.

I needed a way out of this and I knew the second I said what was on my mind he'd be looking for one too but I couldn't let that happen. I was too afraid that if he didn't stop I would lose him.

"Look, this shit has to stop. I know you're using the parties and the drugs and the fucking to heal some part of you, but I'm not putting up with it anymore Matt." I snapped a piece of chocolate off loudly.

His smile melted quickly and fire lit in his eyes, "I'm not your bitch Mello, I can make my own choices. It's your fault anyways…you don't even realize why I do it do you?"  
><em>Some sort of window to your right<em>

This wasn't the boy I'd left behind all those years ago, he was angry and bitter, lashing out at me when I gave him the chance, I caught glimspes of the sweetheart he used to be, before I fucked it up. I sighed and shook my head, "No Matt, I don't have the slightest fucking clue." I leveled my glare at him.

He laughed, but it was harsh and cold, "You. I go because of you. When you left you killed me, who I was. We were always Mello and Matt, then suddenly I was just Matt."

I blanched at that slightly, but I knew how to deal with him by now, "Yeah and I was just Mello but I'm still here. You've been trying so hard to avoid facing it, but the nerdy gamer is still in there, just stop partying for a while and let him out. I need you Matt, but you need you more than I do, I've been trying to tell you that."

His gaze was cold as ever as he looked at me, "You changed to Mello. I barely recognized you when I first seen you." He dropped the towel and took a sharp breath, "but you're the same underneath…maybe I am to, but I don't want to find myself."

I looked at him then and gave him a final ultimatium, "Stop partying or I'll chain you to the bed."

He chuckled, "See Mel? You're different too." He sighed then and I watched in a kind of horrified fascination as he crumbled and tears started to pour down his cheeks, he reached toward me and I held onto him.

His voice shook again, "I'm so sorry. I love you Mel, but once you're done you'll leave me again. I don't want to have to feel it."

I pulled back and looked at him, "No Matt…please." He shook his head and slid away, "I'll leave tomorrow." He curled up in the bed again, leaving me sitting alone.

I tore out of there as fast as I could, angry and uncertain what he meant as I sat in the kitchen eating. The clock ticked and my sleepless night caught up with me.

Early the next morning a gunshot woke me and my blood ran cold when I realized where it was from. I moved so fast I made it to the door before my mind registered movement even.

Matt was dead and there was still one bullet in the gun…**BANG**.

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><p><strong>AN:** So tell me darlings...did you hate it...I hated it. Reivew with your hatred?


	3. Little House

**Disclaimer: **I think if I owned Death Note I would also own the band BOTDF…just to see Jayy naked…a lot.

**Warning:** A sort-of-kinda lemon ahead.

**A/N:** So don't ask why this was the one to get updated…but it was. Also one of the sites Beta readers so kindly pointed out that doesn't allow the usage of copyrighted lyrics….sue me.

**Song: **_Little House_-**The Fray** (duh)

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><p><strong>Into the Fray<strong>

_Little House_

~Mail~

I know he doesn't want me to know, to see what it is that's eating him apart and making him like he is, but I do. He doesn't know where the marks come from, he thinks it's some sick joke on my part, revenge on him for all the times he's hit me. That's why he told me to fuck off when I told him to clip his nails.

Oh, I know he wants to forget his life before me, before us, but it's just not going to happen, he has to accept what happened in his childhood and move past it, not cram it into a corner. Mello won't even tell me how his life was before I stumbled across him, but I know that's what this is from, because the marks look exactly the same now as they did then. He thinks repressing it is working, because he doesn't see what I do…

_She doesn't look,_

_She doesn't see,_

_Opens up for nobody._

I'm lying in bed beside him now, watching as he slowly scratches his shoulder, an innocent little motion that no one questions, I know he's still awake because his breathing isn't quite slow enough for sleep. Watching his fingers curl, straighten, press, curl, straighten, press, and repeat is almost mesmerizing, except I know I have to stay focused.

A moment passes and he stops, I breath, maybe I'll get some sleep tonight.

Minutes later I wake because I can feel a slight shaking movement, I know what it means and my stomach clenches when I click the small light beside our bed on. What looks strangely like burns stretch over his shoulders, neat lines, three on either oozing just slightly and his fingers furiously scrapping at his side. New marks to join the old scabbed ones dotting his lower back.

I softly slide my hand under his nails, letting him pull my skin off, not moving until he is still again, looking at the mark on my hand, wondering if he'll ever notice how I don't take my gloves off anymore, if he'll ever realize that the marks are from his own insistent scratching.

Morning comes and I barely stop him from rolling over in time, the skin of his back pulls as he tries to get away from me and he feels the tender flesh pull, hissing in pain.

"What the FUCK Matt? I understood the first couple of times, but every fucking night for a month? What the Fuck did I do to you?" He yells at me, forcing himself up, but I stay silent, gloves already in place.

Mello makes a disgusted sound in his throat and turns to go, freezing when he brings up a hand to open the door. In my sleep-deprived state I forgot to wash the blood and bits of skin off his hands and I watch his eyes grow wide.

_Figures out,_

_She figures out,_

He doesn't speak about it, I don't try to get him to but he doesn't yell at me anymore and his nails are filed down these days…it just makes him crazier, his body needs _something_ in place of the scratching.

I don't notice until I almost trip into his lap and he catches me, the smell is cloying, my stomach clenches and I back away, confused, Mello never smells so bad/odd/sickly. He gives me a weird look but ignores me again to lick at his chocolate, but I know that smell, from all the times my hands slipped while cooking, from falling through a window. It's the smell of healing flesh after a deep cut that hasn't been cleaned right.

I wait until night-time again, when his leathers are gone, though lately he's taken to wearing a shirt to bed…long sleeved.

_Narrow line she can't decide,_

_Everything short of suicide, _

_Never hurts,_

_Nearly works_

The sight of the cuts on his wrist aren't really what surprises me, it's that there's just so many of them that I can't help but wonder why. Mello's self-control isn't the greatest, but he doesn't like pain all that much and these are _deep._

I don't even wait for morning, I shake him gently, his eyes snap open and there's fear in them for a moment as he looks at me, another change, before it was always a gentle flutter of lashes and a sleepy glare.

"What Matt?" He tries to sound like nothing's wrong but I can tell, I can always tell and without saying a word I touch the tip of my finger to one of the cuts. He goes rigid, closing his eyes and the words slip out, "It never hurts, almost makes me better."

That's enough of an answer for me, I have to find a way to make him talk to me, to tell me what _happened _to him, why he needs to feel pain_. _I haven't been allowed to _touch_ him since the first mark appeared and it's killing me. I need my Mello, my Mihael, my lover back.

_Something's scratching its way out,_

_Something you want to forget about,_

_Part of you that'll never show,_

_You're the only one that'll ever know._

He's still not opening up, not speaking to me hardly after a couple days and I realize I'm going to have to do this the hard way, the one I hoped to avoid.

"Mel?" He's sitting by the counter, eyebrows furrowed as he looks over some spreadsheet or another for his "job" and at my hesitant call he looks over at me as I stand fidgeting.

"Yeah, what's up?" He sounds kinder than he has in a long while and I almost forget trying to make him talk. Almost.

"I need to know Mel. What happened to you before I found you?" I try to be gentle first, because I don't want to fight.

"Nothing Matt." His voice is cold, his face perfectly blank but there's a warning in his eyes, one that I promptly ignore as I get too close to him.

"No Mihael, not nothing, something. Tell me damnit, or I'm leaving because I can't take this anymore." I didn't mean to say that last bit, like I could leave him, but it just rolled out, fitting into the sentence perfectly.

His eyes grow huge and suddenly he's clinging to me, holding me as tightly as he can, "No…Mail please, Mail I do-I didn't you can't…I need you!" I return the embrace, not as tightly of course but still, I return it, somewhat surprised by his reaction.

"Mel, calm down." I murmured soothingly, "just tell me what happened, I'm not going to feel any different about you if you do, no matter what I'll still be yours okay?"

Mello doesn't answer and things stay quiet for a long moment, just his ragged breaths as he holds me close, desperately. "Okay." He lets go finally and looks me in the eyes, "but you're the only one that will ever know this part of me."

I know what it is he's giving and I nod, smiling gently and patiently waiting for him to tell me, because I know he will.

_Take it back where it all began,_

_Take your time would you understand,_

_What its all about_

_Something is scratching its way out,_

_Something you want to forget about_

He pulls away and leads me to the couch where we sit side by side, his body just brushing mine, all tense muscles and taut nerves.

"That night…when you found me…I meant it to be my last." He takes a deep slow breath and looks to me, "I felt so disgusting, like I was covered in the grime, the black awful stench of my life and no matter how hard I rubbed it wouldn't come off. I couldn't wash it off, or scratch it away so the only thing left to do was shed my body and hope that the dirtiness wouldn't follow my soul."

At least that explained why _scratching_ of all things and I kissed his hair, "Why did you feel like that love?" I prodded, the rarely used pet name helping him relax some.

"Because my parents…they sold me every night, to strange men I'd never met, to women who were to twisted to have any shot at a normal relationship…I never complained or tried to stop the things that happened and I…" He stopped to take a shuddering breath, memories clearly in his eyes, making my heart lurch painfully.

"I slept with both of my parent's and they made me rape me younger sister, that was when I couldn't take it anymore, during the day I was expected to behave like the prodigal son and be perfect and angelic and at night all they wanted was a whore who would spread his legs for anyone with money."

He shuddered against me and one hand wrapped around his rosary, "I almost killed them when I left, I know my sister died…Matty I've sinned so much." His words were getting softer and softer, despair in his eyes.

Mello closed his eyes to try to block the tears, my own vision was blurred as I pulled off my gloves to be able to really touch him, cradling his face with care and kissing his lips as softly as I could.

"I can't make it go away by saying it but…I'm sorry Mel." I kiss his cheek and then whisper in his ear gently, "You don't have to do this by yourself you know."

_No one expects you to get up_

_All on your own_

_With no one around._

He trembles as I kiss every bit of him I can and when I strip us both he seems uncertain but doesn't try to stop me.

I've always topped him but now I want something different and I know he didn't expect it when I straddle him and push myself down on him, swearing at the ripping feeling in my lower half.

"Mihael…Mihael look at me." I wait until clouded sapphire eyes met my own blue ones, "I love you, I don't care what happened before, I just care that right now I can feel you inside me, that I have you in my life."

He's crying again as I ride him and we make love, slow and passionate dragging out our climax as long as we can.

When he comes, screaming my name and gripping my ragged hands, kissing the places he's scratched open, I know that we'll be okay.

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><p><strong>AN:** Meh. SO CLICHÉ! But, I didn't know what else to have happen soooooo…. Before you tell me how scratches don't look like burns realize that my back is covered in them right now so HA! Oh yep and I made my Beta profile finally :3

Also:

SHOULD I PUT ANY STORIES ON HIATUS?

Do you think I'm making the songs and the stories fit together?

Am I projecting too much of myself on the characters?

Review? :3


	4. You Found Me

**A/N:** Yep I updated this one. Sorry. XD By the way…does the admin on FF.N even care about the lyric thing?

**Music:** _You Found Me_- **The Fray**

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><p><strong>~Mihael~<strong>

"I found him! Oh god, please let it be him, I _need _it to actually be him this time." My voice was low and scratchy, my throat raw from the abuse I put it through everyday without Matt. That might be about to change, I could see red-brown hair and stripes standing on a corner, watching the traffic light lazily as it flickered, a couple junkies leaning against the wall a little ways from him, watching. I prayed harder than I ever had as I got closer to him, clutching my rosary so hard it broke the skin and my blood ran over the metal. " Please, oh please, please, please, please…O lord who art in heaven, please."

_I found god_

_On the corner of first and Amistad_

_Where the west was all but won_

Finally, thank you god, finally. It was him, Matt.

He was flicking his lighter, the sight of his stupid cigarette making me want to cry in relief as he took a drag, tilting his head as he blew the smoke out. It trailed over his goggles, clearing so my eyes could lock with his as his chapped lips turned up in a mocking smile. He tossed the now-empty pack into the gutter.

_All alone, smoking his last cigarette_

I came to stand beside him, watching him without a word as he looked around lazily, "So." He broke the silence, raising an eyebrow at me.

"Where have you been Mattie?" I murmured, reaching the touch his arm and biting my lip when he flinched away from me.

He shrugged at me without answering, looking at me blankly until I couldn't take it anymore and the questions poured out of me, not expecting an answer.

_I Said where you been, he said ask anything_

_Where were you?_

_When everything was falling apart_

_All my days were spent by the telephone_

_It never rang_

_And all I needed was a call_

_That never came_

_To the corner of first and Amistad_

Matt took another drag and shrugged again, "I've been busy Mels, just like you." He was quiet for a moment and I felt the hope draining out of me.

"Are you-will you come home?" I asked finally, squeezing my rosary tighter and ignoring the horrible burning sensation caused by the bite of the metal. He gave me an amused look.

"Mel, you're not my home anymore." And with that he finished his cigarette and walked away, leaving me standing there with blood running down my fingers and tears dripping down my cheeks.

_Lost and insecure_

_You found me, you found me_

_Lying on the floor_

_Surrounded, surrounded_

I don't remember how I made it back to our- no my- apartment after that, nor what happened in the days that followed and a part of me regrets that. The rest of me is to numb to care anymore, my thoughts are focused on how the carpet still smells faintly of smoke in his favorite spot.

I can't feel my toes. Huh. Well I guess too many drugs at once will do that to a person, actually now that I think about it my apartment is pretty dirty without Matt around to clean. There's bags with residual cocaine all over the place and I'm pretty sure that my floor's on its way to becoming an AIDS factory with the needles lying everywhere.

_Why'd you have to wait?_

_Where were you? Where were you?_

_Just a little late_

_You found me, you found me_

I heard my door clicking, someone was trying to pick the lock and despite my best attempt I couldn't bring myself to care that someone was probably there to finally kill me, I am still in the Mafia after all. There's a more solid click and I barely turn my head to look toward the door as it swings open, I can't even arrange my face into a convincingly worried expression damnit.

I can see him looking around, goggles pushed into his red hair, his eyebrows raised, "Hell Mello, a guy comes back for the stuff he forgot and has to deal with this?" He shook his head and his eyes meet mine, the sarcastic expression sliding away.

"Fuck. What've you done?" He asks softly as he picks me up, cradling me close to him, " I can't leave you alone for five minutes can I?" He sounds worried and amused at the same time as he pulls out his phone.

Now instead of trying to make myself care I'm trying to go numb again because this is _matt, _the reason for my loss of sanity, for my utter dis-regard for my health and my new addictions and he's right fucking here. When I lost him, that's what pushed me over the edge I'd been dancing on since we were young, I don't know how he didn't see what his leaving would do to me, he is the only person whose ever really known me.

"Why'd you go? We said we'd be together always, 'member that Matt?" I ask, ignoring his questions, apparently he's been talking to me for sometime now.

He looks straight into me, into my soul, I can feel it, the way those gorgeous blue-green eyes delve into me. "Together? Always? Mel, everyone's alone at the end, everyone. Why delay the pain?"

I hum in response, having no argument to that and snuggling to him as he finally manages to dial the phone, I don't know how long he's going to be here and _damn _it would be nice if I could feel my extremities again.

_In the end everyone ends up alone_

_Losing her, the only one who's ever known_

_Who I am, who I'm not, who I want to be_

_No way to know how long she will be next to me_

_Lost and insecure_

_You found me, you found me_

_Lying on the floor_

_Surrounded, surrounded_

_Why'd you have to wait?_

_Where were you, where were you?_

_Just a little late_

_You found me, you found me_

Matt's been gone for seven years today. I'm holed up in the bedroom, cigarette in one hand and an xbox controller held loosely in the other, it's the one day where I allow myself to be around these things that remind me so much of him.

After my overdose, after he saved me, called Near and told him he was bringing me too him for help, my life has changed. I hate it.

No more Matt, no more Mafia, no more anything. I shrug to try and get the loose fitting stripped shirt back into place but it doesn't work as I lean back some, blowing smoke out the window next to me, the city is just waking up and I open my phone again, time to start my ritual.

I wait patiently for the ringing to go through, I know he hasn't changed his number because it still goes to the voicemail we set up. I listen to the recording of our voice,

"Hey you've got Matt." There's him. "Yeah, he'd such a stupid fuck, thinking people might actually call him." And there's me, when I still had a voice to speak with.

The part that really gets me is the very last bit, both of us together, "We're gay lovers, gotta a problem? Hang up, if not leave a message after the glorious geekiness that is the tone." And some song from the Legend of Zelda plays.

He hasn't answered, called back, written or even asked Near how I am, if I'm alive. No, none of that and maybe I could've moved on, but he never changed his damn answering machine, seven years later and it's still us, claiming our love to the world. He used to change it every month.

_Early morning, City breaks_

_I've been calling for years and years and years and years_

_And you never left me no messages_

_You never send me no letters_

_You got some kind of nerve, taking all I want_

These days I rarely leave, Near says that I should try and find something to do with my time, pick up a hobby but I can't. I want to know how Matt is and the fuzzy asshole simply shrugs, "He's quite happy Mello, thank you for asking."

He thinks he's protecting me but I know him, if Matt was happy Near wouldn't avoid my eyes so completely, wouldn't pretend that I vanished after asking my question. I don't push though, why should i?

Finally I can't take it any longer, I write this on the paper I've carried with me since the day I went mute and hand it to Near before turning and walking back to my room. He can't stop me and I know he won't try.

_Lost and insecure_

_You found me, you found me_

_Lying on the floor_

_Where were you where were you_

_Lost and insecure_

_You found me, you found me_

_Lying on the floor_

_Surrounded, surrounded_

_Why'd you have to wait?_

_Where were you, where were you?_

_Just a little late_

_You found me, you found me_

I could feel the life leaving my body as I laid on the floor, all the pictures of Matt that Near had taken over the years, had made sure only I possessed, spread around me.

My hands shake as I pick one up and smile at it sadly, the only image of us together. Near took it, he was spying on me. Matt's sitting on a park bench feeding some ducks, me bent close to him, chocolate hanging loosely from one hand as I watch.

I stroke the image, the quiet reminder of what we were once and I can't help but wonder, as I have time and time again, why he left me.

Doesn't matter I guess, not anymore. I can feel the poison I laced that last cigarette with working it's way through me and I finally let go. I sob, silently as ever, body shaking as I try to curl in on myself and find someway to escape the sorrow, the poison is so slow. I'm so lost in this that I don't hear the sound of running footsteps or the door flying open.

Matt's got me suddenly and I'm reminded of the day he found me all those years ago. He looks awful I think distantly, bruised circles underneath his eyes, his hair has grown but is lanky and dull and he's thin as a skeleton as he holds me close to him.

"Mello, Mel. The world isn't so nice without someone else to protect you…" He offers me a slight, bitter smile. "Near said you were alright. He said you were doing better without me."

I just look at him blankly, why now? Why is he here now when it's too late? Finally I react, touching his face gently, "Mail."

My first word in nearly seven years is followed by a whole sentence as my last moments slip away. He doesn't have time to answer and I won't feel the last kiss he gives me.

_Why'd you have to wait?_

_To find me, to find me_

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><p><strong>AN:** Why the hell are they always depressing? I was like "Yeah lets make a mostly happy one again! I'm in a good fucking mood!" and nope. Despair all over the fucking place. Fuck me sideways. Hope you enjoyed. An anon reviewer made me want to update again, so props to them :3

_**Review?**_


	5. Be still

**A/N: **This is going to be the last update for Into the Fray. I need to wrap some projects up. Also Im going to take down Fully Alive, I may come back to it and I may not, however I would like to pull it for now.

**Disclaimer:** No, it doesn't belong to me.

**Music:** _Be_ _Still_ -**The Fray****  
><strong>

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><p><strong>Be Still<strong>

__When Mello was mad energy, back when he and Matt were children sharing a small room in a place full of parentless youth, when it was them together, not against the world, just Roger, when things were easy...Matt only had to say the words and Mello was calm.

_Be still and know that I'm with you_  
><em>Be still and know that I am here<em>  
><em>Be still and know that I'm with you<em>  
><em>Be still, be still, and know<em>

Years later and it was still true. Shit had long since hit the fan and was now slowing seeping down the walls, Mello was falling apart trying to keep the world together and Matt was there with him, the glue that held him together.

_When darkness comes upon you_  
><em>And covers you with fear and shame<em>  
><em>Be still and know that I'm with you<em>  
><em>And I will say your name<em>

Matt had stood in Mello's shadow, keeping him sane through thick and thin, Matt had helped him pull through the dark horror that Mafia life had been for him and Matt had held him when Mello was afraid he would die, when he was ashamed of his apperance and avoided mirrors, had helped him build his armor before gently leading him out into the world. Even now, approaching their final hour, Matt was laying close to him, he closed his eyes and inhaled slowly," Mihael, my Mihael."

_If terror falls upon your bed_  
><em>And sleep no longer comes<em>  
><em>Remember all the words I said<em>  
><em>Be still, be still, and know<em>

Mello had smiled gently into Matt's shoulder and fallen asleep, his breathing even and soft. Matt held him close, watching him as his sleep became more and more restless, watching him eyes flutter and feeling his heartbeat become frantic. Matt whispered comforts too him as he shook in fear, ice cold sweat drenching them both. Mello with wide eyes unable to sleep again clinging child-like to Matt, was slowly soothed as his love reminded him of ever tender moment, every kiss and ever soft "I love you."

_And when you go through the valley_  
><em>And the shadow comes down from the hill<em>  
><em>If morning never comes to be<em>  
><em>Be still, be still, be still<em>

It was time, Mello knew, his fear from the hours previously had abated and he took a deep breath, watching Matt who smiled at him and gently rushed his cheek, "It'll be alright." It would he knew, no matter the outcome it would. "And though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I fear no evil.." He murmured as unbidden tears welled in his eyes, tears he saw reflected in Matt's own and just for a moment he was selfish as a single sob wracked him. "Why Mattie? Why d'we have to be the ones to stop this madness?" But Matt had no answer and just kissed Mello instead.

_If you forget the way to go_  
><em>And lose where you came from<em>  
><em>If no one is standing beside you<em>  
><em>Be still and know I am<em>

Mello could feel his death coming as he changed his clothes, ignoring the woman in the truck completely. He desperately looked for a way out, though he knew he didnt have one, he knew that the world out there was against him and he had no place to go. He had to do this for the masses, the masses who seemed to hate him. Mello took a great breath and nearly faltered but he clenched his teeth, his resolve set "For you" he muttered, for Matt his constant, the only person beside him in life, and now apparently in death.

_Be still and know that I'm with you_  
><em>Be still and know I am<em>

Matt had greeted death with a smile, Mello watched him die and now, with the squeezing numbing pain in his chest he found he could not do the same, he was at loathe to die and he fought it, fought it as hard as he could but he lost. He felt the phantom of his body slipping away and he was free of it, shaky and unsure until a strong had took his. He turned and Matt grinned at him "Be still, love."

and finally, finally, he was.


End file.
